I guess you can say I am super attached to my son, very protective over him. I am very picky about where he is and who he is with. In fact he is 18 months and now has had an over nighter twice, once with his grandmother and now once with his grandpa, both times I was on edge, I know I am a young mom (nearly 25) and I have some fear of judgement that people will think I pawn my child off on my family members whenever I get the chance. To avoid the usual reputaion my generation of mothers has received I refuse to let anyone watch my child just to go out. With that said my husband and myself rarely get time to ourselves, and he always says we can get a sitter, but he doesn't understand the reason I don't want to do that. I see far to many people my age who just constantly burden their family with only selfish intentions at bay. I must say currently my sister in law does watch my son through the week while both my husband and myself are at work, and I pay her a respectable rate comparable to a facility for childcare, so yes I do have help from my family, however on my days off my son is all mine and i want to spend every minute with him. The problem lies with my friends who also have small children, why don't they understand why I will not go out on a Friday night? They say "just call your mom, she will watch him while your out" or "doesn't your sister inlaw watch him during the day, just ask her to keep him over night" I just don't get it. My 2 days off a week are also my sister in laws and I'm sure she likes to have them. I feel like my generation of mothers lacks respect for their own mothers, even my older sister calls my mom up all the time, and while our mother loves her grand babies she still have small children at home to take care of (youngest is 7). I question if I am the only woman my age who thought through having a child and what that meant for my social life. I was willing and ready to give that up, and love every second I get to spend with my son, isn't that how it should be, any extracurricular things I'm involved in are for him, like story time at the library, or going to the park, going on bike rides, visiting the zoo, or just the pet store, I make sure what ever we are doing he is learning something. Where are the other mothers like me. Even my closest friend in alaska, whom I had a falling out with planned to have her mother watch her baby once born at no cost to her. What is so different with our generation?? I just don't get it. Yes babies are cute and fun and full of life but with all that greatness comes a responsibility that must be met with open arms, prepared to make sacrifices and willing to change your lifestlye to best suit the needs of your child and your family. I just know once I am older and want to enjoy my retirement life with my husband I don't want a 9 to 5 with my grand babies with no pay, and I have a feeling much of my parents generation feels the same way.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
My generations parents.
An irrational fear of Alaskan drivers.
I don't get why people drive so crazy in Alaska. I am not native to Alaska but a transplant of 6 years and each year I have more than dreaded the winter. I love the snow and even the cold doesn't bother me, however driving on the roads is more than nerve wracking. I usually have a white nuckle grip on the steering wheel and am sitting at an alert 90' angle. I avoid driving like the pleage in the winter. Growing up on the east coast where if it snowed a quarter inch it was a snow day and a statewide state of emergency where you literally were not allowed to be out and about except for in emergency situations, I guess it is just hard to adjust to the idea of driving anywhere when there is a pour down of snow, the plowers have not got to the streets just yet. Before moving to Alaska I had never been involved in a car accident. Since moving to Alaska 4 of 6 years I was a passenger in an accident each winter. Now since having my son my anxiety has skyrocketed to the extremes. I will cancel anything I can to avoid driving. If my husband is busy and out of the home I will gladly stay with our son and just play even if that meant cancelling a meeting or appointment, just because I didn't want to drive. My son is nearly two now and I have avoided any accidents since his birth but with other people on the road hold my breath a lot or hold onto the oh s@&# handle as we make turns, and constantly check the side mirror on my side of the car as we are stopping to make sure the guy behind us is also coming to a stop. People think its my crazy mommy thing. I just want to ensure my sons safety through childhood. Even my husband is driven nuts by my antics, I make him use extreme caution, and constantly nag him about his following distance, he always asks if I would like to drive he knows I don't but have to direct his driving still. My son has no clue I am so afraid of cars and he definitely has not picked up the same anxiety about vehicles considering once he is strapped in he shouts go go go daddy! While I lean over and say not so fast slow down get off their butt why are you so close. I feel awful but I don't trust other drivers on the road. I see an accident every day and just don't want to be in that boat. If I can get our son through childhood without being involved in a moter vehicle accident it would be a miracle, but I will try my damndest to do so.
An Eskimos wife.